Linkin Park - Two Faced is such a mood <3

Anyone here read a book called 'Harakiri' by 'Szilágyi Cs. Tibor'? Okay if not. Don't. I read it twice because i felt a connection with it. You read that book and feel the work of an erratic restless mind. I feel that now. Actually reoccuringly sometimes. Walking up and down in my small room. Thoughts that you can't follow, but they are still buzzing.

I fucking made it. I FUCKING MADE IT. I HAVE IT. I fucking have the money I worked for.
Wanted to die often while at it, but I fucking did it!!

They say alcohol makes you feel good... Well it made me feel bad after awhile.

Ha besodor a vízbe a bánat
kérlek ne gyere utánam.

I'm trying but words are refusing me and I feel so tired. I'm sorry, but I'm trying to manage myself.

Kint épp Istent betonozzák a helyére hátha így nem tűnik el a szemük elől mikor elnéznek.

My presence may not be feeble, but I'm there.

I still hear 'them' speaking.

- There is a Lily in you who wants to get better. That's why you're here.
Only if I knew, how to get better..

I don't feel much like getting better.. Taking care is still feels hard I just want to lay and non-exist. Kinda feels like my stats are dropping. Sometimes like I'm running out of words. I honestly don't know how I will be able to be on therapy tomorrow.. Maybe I should text her this thing.

Low activity weekends. I still want to sleep.

I sometimes feel like I have so much to convey but maybe I shouldn't go on her like that. After all she is showing some remorse on her actions. Well it seems like she does.

Life is happening and it has been a quite interesting few days here at home. I also found some really cool japanise alternaive rock.

I finally sold a book.

She was so cute sleeping in while I was reading tales to her. It was a bit longer one but she said she definetely slept better than usual. ^^

Crowded halls with scattered noises kinda sounds like being in a public bath. After a while it kinda has that water kind of noise too.

Dancing and vibing carelessly to goth music on street is superior. Change my mind. ♡