I mean love is a fucked up thing. Especially if the person you loves the most hurts you and leaves you bleeding on the floor.
You can fall in love with the most fucked up human being. Blindly. You don't care what happened in may.
But she played the same as in may. Took something and started hating on me. Saying thet I play the victim. I just wanted to help on her. I didn't wanted to let her fucking die. I loved her too much.
I wanted to be a really good girlfriend to her and I was much better than in my last relationships. It wasn't enough, right?
Now she hates me for something I done for her sake. And goes back to her ex who fucking hurt her mentally and didn't gave a shit about her when she almost killed herself.
She can feel bad and cry and panic because I had suicidal ideas.. Then I why can't do the same without having an argument about my situation handeling..
If I truly love you could do anything to me until a certain point and I won't mind it. But looks like you never loved me.
Then you should just would have break up with me. And I would have been fine with it. But I'm the idiot, right? I hope you will hurt her like you did hurt me.
The kid in me is like "please love me I-I will be a good girl I won't tell you when I'm not fine. I promise I won't cause problem."
Next time I date with someone I will give them a fuckin' A4 page. About my problems, reactions to things, and a story time about my exes. So I can draw borders with this. Maybe it would be safer this way. Maybe they will respect my boundaries and my problems.
Not like her.
Beat me to death if I ever treat someone like she treated me. Then I will deserve it. If I ever touch anyone like "he" would touch me, with that slowly agressive touch what "he" has.
This will make a lot of work in therapy. And I won't have that for months. I may or may won't be fucked. I mean maybe I can survive it. Probably. It will be pure chaos.